Yesterday Andrea and I had lunch in the park and decided that everything would be better if people just did their research. Pick up a book once in awhile. I wish these cherry blossoms would stop falling in my hummus. All that.
I understand that you may prefer the above in haiku form. Many people do.
yesterday, lunch in the park
fie on lazy work
too bad about my hummus
Show me a life that is better than a couple buybacks at HiFi, a bunch of potato pierogies at Veselka, and then coming home and, just, you know, up and throwing all of your clothes on the ground instead of being an adult and hanging them [CLOTHES] up or putting them [CLOTHES] in the laundry basket. Show me.
PS I don’t believe you.
“Beetlebum,” Blur
One time I was on this Christian retreat with a youth group I was not even a part of at all, but my friend had a crush on one of the guys in the thing and it was a weekend at a cabin so, moral supportively, I went with her and we played trust games and slept in a heap on a trampoline. By the way the guy she had a crush on was also the son of this long-term French substitute teacher we had. Anyway, “Song #2” was mad popular at the time and even though there was other music, my friend kept putting this CD on the house stereo. Of course “Beetlebum” was first on that record, and it is a pretty long slow awesome bummer of a drug song to start off a damn album, BLUR! and I remember she wouldn’t even skip the track to get right to the money, so we listened to this song more than anything that weekend, and it made me feel super uncomfortable slash guilty. It was months before I even gave the album a fair chance on its own, and even today I still kind of feel jittery when this song starts up. Like someone’s going to bust in any moment and accuse me of not praying when everyone else was praying and wondering too frequently what the part about sucking your thumb and slipping away really meant when WASN’T IT OBVIOUS (sin). Oh well anyway. Enjoy the part where Damon looks directly into your soul and then rolls around on the ground, it’s exactly what needles and sex do to you they tell me.
kfan:
But now with less internet time to distract me from the pain of life, I’m noticing all these other situations in my life that I wish I could apply Leechblock rules to. E.g.:
Last week I went to this party and at this party I had a conversation with a very nice young lady and within No Exaggeration within ten minutes of talking to me she called me “intimidating.” I did not even prompt it or anything, which means PERSONAL BEST! Not the first, probably not the last, but definitely the fastest.
Which really makes you wonder what kind of jerk I must be, right? At parties in particular. If this were an episode of Man Men likely you would later in this episode see two of the account managers talking and they would be like, “Meg? Ugh. Comes on a little strong, doesn’t she? I mean if I really want my cheese grilled I’ll drink a bottle of whiskey and lie to my wife huh oh god I’m so lonely.”