How You Gonna Keep 'Em Down

I'm going to the break room to find your replacement.

Read a story.

November 3, 2009 at 5:49pm
22 notes
reblogged from anthonyking
anthonyking:

Ari Scott took amazing pictures of KILLGORE.

FW: ATTN: howsyrface.

anthonyking:

Ari Scott took amazing pictures of KILLGORE.

FW: ATTN: howsyrface.

12:10pm
5 notes

A 'Twilight' satire dawns with 'Nightlight' | Los Angeles Times →

So I know we don’t generally mix Tumblr with business over here but I want you guys to know that this Nightlight situation is the real deal. A genuinely actually funny smart parody of a thing that probably you either wholeheartedly hate or grudgingly like. Nightlight works without taking tired potshots — instead, it gives us Belle Goose, the klutzy new kid in school who is CONVINCED just CONVINCED that not only is every boy in town totally obsessed with her, but that the quiet kid in the corner is DEFINITELY A VAMPIRE WHO WANTS TO MURDER/LOVE HER FOREVER. And Belle is not inclined to believe anything other than what she makes up.

It is out in bookstores today. Here is a good part, that also the LA Times quotes but here is more of it. So many jokes per paragraph. I know. I know.

Edwart continued to jab at his computer. With each pounding finger I could see the blood surging through the bulging veins on his forearms to his biceps, straining against the tight-fitted, white Oxford shirt pushed cavalierly to his elbows as though he had a lot of manual labor to do. Why was he typing so loudly? Was he trying to tell me something?  Was he trying to prove how easy it would be for him to fling me up into the sky and then catch me tightly in his arms, whispering that he would never share me with anyone else in the entire world?  I shuddered and smiled coyly, terrified.

When the bell rang I stole another glance at him and shrank into a deeper sense of worthlessness. He was now staring furiously up at the bell, shaking all the muscles in his fist at it, glowering at it with his dark, heated eyes and loathing lashes. He clenched his hair in exasperation, clinging to the tussled tufts as he raised his head to the ceiling. Then he slowly turned to me. Looking into his eyes I felt waves of electricity, currents of electrons charging toward me. Was this how it felt to be in love, I wondered, for robots?  Caught in his ionized hypnosis, the old adage came to mind: Beautiful enough to kill, gut, stuff and frame above your fireplace.

November 1, 2009 at 9:30am
9 notes

Daytime Prize Winner » Oh You Have Got to Be Kidding Me →

Hey, a story! That I wrote.

October 31, 2009 at 1:25pm
38 notes

Kids in the Hall - “Life as a Mass Murderer”

happy halloweeeeeeeenz

October 30, 2009 at 11:54pm
1 note
Well, it’s never good when The Doctor can’t understand the cryptic allusions made by recurring villains on his own spin-off shows. Your crunchy-haired, skinny-legged, intensely-sideburned days are numbered, peanut. I luff you and hope you to die in The Master’s arms, as we’ve always wanted. (Don’t be stupid, it’s only a bullet.)

Well, it’s never good when The Doctor can’t understand the cryptic allusions made by recurring villains on his own spin-off shows. Your crunchy-haired, skinny-legged, intensely-sideburned days are numbered, peanut. I luff you and hope you to die in The Master’s arms, as we’ve always wanted. (Don’t be stupid, it’s only a bullet.)

October 27, 2009 at 5:27pm
2 notes

Things I Have Seen That Made The Other Things I Was Seeing Around The Same Time Seem Completely Inadequate, And The Latter Thing in Parentheses

  1. Children of Men (Pan’s Labyrinth)
  2. Rachel Getting Married (some guy)
  3. In the Next Room, or, The Vibrator Play (everything, right now)

October 26, 2009 at 4:26pm
10 notes
reblogged from sayyes

sayyes:

I’ve wasted so much time trying to figure out which Sheryl Crow songs are about Owen Wilson.

October 24, 2009 at 2:16pm
1 note

“Being Alive” - Raúl Esparza - Company

Raúl Esparza of the Day #1.

The whole thing makes me wobbly, but what he does with his voice from 5:37-6:17 is remarkable. It’s from real far down, ugly in a way, but so bare, so clear, so exactly a feeling we think no one else has. By the end of it he’s made you think it’s pretty. Bell tones of the gut.

October 19, 2009 at 10:29pm
0 notes
[Flash 9 is required to listen to audio.]

They Might Be Giants, “Twisting”

She wants to see you again, slowly twisting.

I mean I guess it’s the kind of day where you’re reading deeper, more mature themes in TMBG albums you haven’t listened to in like a billion years.

October 17, 2009 at 11:22pm
1 note
[Flash 9 is required to listen to audio.]

Beulah, “Gravity’s Bringing Us Down”

I’m soft, but I’ll be all right…

Establish dominance over the 11 o’clock hour.